When Validation Becomes Protection: What the Epstein Files Teach Us About Failing Survivors of Domestic Violence
by Jessica Anne Pressler LCSW
I don't just write these words as a psychotherapist who has spent nearly four decades walking alongside survivors of trauma. I write them as a woman who has herself survived violence. This truth shapes everything I know about what survivors need, what they deserve, and how desperately our systems are failing them.
The recent release of the Epstein files has reignited a conversation we've been avoiding for too long. It's about how we validate—or fail to validate—survivors of abuse. And it's about understanding that validation isn't just kindness. It's the first critical step toward real protection.
The Epstein Files: When the System Knew and Did Nothing
In late 2024 and early 2025, following the passage of the Epstein Files Transparency Act, the U.S. Department of Justice released over 3.5 million pages of documents. The files detailed Jeffrey Epstein's exploitation of over 250 underage girls and included thousands of photographs, videos, grand jury testimony, and FBI interviews with victims—some as young as 14 years old (U.S. Department of Justice, January 2025).
What breaks my heart about these documents isn't just the horror of what happened. It's what they reveal about how many times these young women tried to tell someone. How many times they sought help. How many times their voices were minimized, their credibility questioned, their safety compromised.
One victim testified to a grand jury that she was recruited at age 16 and paid $200 for every other girl she brought to Epstein—most of them classmates from high school. She told them, "if you're underage, just lie about it and tell him that you are 18" (Al Jazeera, December 2025).
These girls told their stories. The system heard them. And the system failed them anyway.
The tragedy isn't just about one predator. It's about institutions—law enforcement, the justice system, even the media—that knew about the abuse and still didn't adequately protect these young women. Their voices were heard but not believed as credible enough, urgent enough, or deserving enough of immediate action.
This is the same pattern playing out in domestic violence cases every single day across this country.
The Epidemic We Keep Pretending Isn't Happening
Let me share some numbers with you, though I know numbers can feel abstract when we're talking about human suffering.
In the United States, nearly 20 people every minute are physically abused by an intimate partner. That's more than 10 million women and men annually (National Domestic Violence Hotline, 2023). One in four women and one in nine men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking that leaves them injured, fearful, and struggling with symptoms of PTSD (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024).
Globally, one in three women experience physical or sexual violence in their lifetime (World Health Organization, 2021). In 2023 alone, around 51,100 women and girls worldwide were killed by their intimate partners or other family members (UNODC Global Study on Homicide, 2024).
The pandemic made everything worse. Domestic violence incidents in large cities increased by 29% to 53% during COVID-19, though we know official reports don't capture the full picture (The Global Statistics, 2025).
But here's the statistic that haunts me most: less than 40% of women who experience violence seek help of any kind. And among those brave souls who do reach out, less than 10% go to the police (The Global Statistics, 2024).
Why? Because we've created a world where survivors have learned they won't consistently be validated, believed, or protected.
Why Validation Isn't Optional—It's Survival
When someone gathers the courage to disclose abuse, their entire nervous system is on high alert. They're asking themselves: "Will I be believed? Will I be blamed? Will I even be safe after telling?"
Research shows us that survivors who receive validation and support experience better recovery outcomes, including reduced symptoms of PTSD, depression, and anxiety (Williams et al., 2024). But when survivors are met with skepticism, victim-blaming, or dismissal, we don't just fail to help them. We actively compound their trauma. We teach them that speaking up is not only futile—it's dangerous.
The Epstein files are filled with interviews of victims who tried to tell authorities what was happening. Many were dismissed because of their age, their background, or simply because the person they were accusing was powerful and well-connected.
Sound familiar? This is exactly what happens in domestic violence cases when survivors are questioned about why they stayed, why they didn't fight back harder, or why they're "only now" coming forward.
Let me be clear about what validation means. It means believing survivors the first time they tell us. It means understanding that their behavior—staying, leaving, returning—makes perfect sense within the context of trauma and coercive control. It means recognizing that inconsistencies in their story aren't evidence of lying. They're evidence of what trauma does to memory and disclosure.
Where Validation Ends and Protection Fails
Here's the heartbreaking truth: validation without protection is hollow. And this is precisely where our systems continue to fail survivors over and over again.
The Epstein case shows us how institutions can know about abuse and still fail to protect victims. Epstein received a sweetheart plea deal in 2008 that allowed him to continue his crimes for over a decade. His victims weren't centered in the justice process. Their safety wasn't prioritized. The powerful men around him were protected while young women continued to be harmed.
We see this same pattern in domestic violence cases every day. Despite decades of advocacy and legal reforms, survivors still face impossible barriers:
Protection orders that don't protect. Many survivors obtain restraining orders only to watch them get violated with minimal consequences for the abuser. In fact, the risk of homicide actually increases significantly when a victim attempts to leave an abusive relationship (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2024).
Court processes that re-traumatize. Survivors are required to recount their trauma repeatedly in different settings. They're subjected to aggressive cross-examination that questions their credibility. They're forced to share custody with their abusers, who then use the children as tools for continued control.
Nowhere safe to go. On any given day, domestic violence programs have to turn away hundreds of requests for shelter because they simply don't have room. In Kentucky alone, 128 requests for shelter went unmet in a single day in 2019 (World Population Review, 2025).
Economic traps that keep them stuck. Financial abuse occurs in 99% of domestic violence cases (Doral Health & Wellness, 2025). When survivors leave, they often do so with nothing—no access to bank accounts, no credit, no job, no housing. We expect them to rebuild from zero while simultaneously navigating court systems, healing from trauma, and keeping themselves and their children safe.
Mental health support that's nearly impossible to access. While we know that PTSD, depression, and anxiety are common among survivors, trauma-informed mental health care remains severely limited, especially in rural areas (Frontiers in Global Women's Health, 2024).
We've failed because we still treat domestic violence as a private matter between individuals rather than as the public health crisis and human rights violation that it is. We've failed because we place the burden of safety on victims rather than on perpetrators. We've failed because we haven't invested adequately in the systems and services that survivors desperately need to escape and heal.
Understanding Without Excusing: A Critical Distinction
I need to share something that matters deeply, and I need you to hold two truths at the same time.
Research shows that many people who perpetrate domestic violence have histories of their own trauma. Many witnessed or experienced abuse in their childhood homes. Children growing up in violent homes have a six times higher likelihood of becoming perpetrators or victims themselves (Texas A&M Law Review, 2024). Adults who experienced childhood abuse, particularly when combined with PTSD symptoms, show higher rates of intimate partner violence perpetration (Psychology Today, 2025).
Trauma can create patterns of emotional dysregulation, heightened threat perception, and learned behaviors about relationships. When violence or manipulation is all someone has known, it can become a default response, especially in moments of fear, anger, or emotional overwhelm (D.O.V.E.S. Network, 2025).
But here's what trauma does NOT do: Trauma does not force someone to abuse others. Trauma does not remove agency or accountability. Trauma does not excuse choices that harm.
As one article powerfully stated: "Trauma explains why someone might react with fear, anger, or a sense of control. Trauma does not excuse choices that harm others. Accountability is not cruelty. Accountability is compassion for all—including the victim, the survivor, and yes, even the one who harmed, by holding them to the standard that real healing requires" (D.O.V.E.S. Network, 2025).
Understanding these contributing factors matters because it helps us prevent future violence through early intervention with at-risk children, trauma-informed education, and accessible mental health services. It helps us create pathways for perpetrators to change through specialized treatment programs. It helps us build a more compassionate society that addresses root causes while maintaining clear boundaries.
But understanding must never become excuse-making. Many people experience childhood trauma and do not go on to abuse others. The presence of trauma in someone's history does not obligate their partner to endure violence. Survivors are not responsible for their abuser's healing journey.
If we truly want to break these cycles, we must invest at the source—through trauma-informed education in schools, accessible mental health care, economic support for families, and interventions that address childhood exposure to violence. We must hold abusers accountable while creating pathways for healing that don't depend on their victims' continued suffering.
Therapies That Actually Help Survivors Heal
For survivors who are ready to begin their healing journey, there are evidence-based therapies that can truly help. I want you to know what works, because healing is possible, even when it doesn't feel that way yet.
Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) helps survivors process trauma by examining and challenging unhelpful thoughts about the abuse. Research shows it significantly reduces PTSD symptoms in survivors of intimate partner violence and may even reduce risk for future victimization (VA National Center for PTSD, 2024).
Prolonged Exposure (PE) involves gradually and systematically confronting trauma-related memories, situations, and emotions in a safe, controlled environment. This therapy has demonstrated real effectiveness for PTSD related to intimate partner violence (VA National Center for PTSD, 2024).
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) uses bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, to help the brain process traumatic memories. EMDR has shown effectiveness for treating PTSD in domestic violence survivors (StatPearls, 2024; CNS Healthcare, 2025).
Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) has produced strong reductions in PTSD severity among female survivors of intimate partner violence, with many participants showing clinically significant improvements. When delivered via telehealth, TF-CBT has shown zero dropout rates and significant symptom reduction (ScienceDirect, 2024; PMC, 2024).
Cognitive Trauma Therapy for Battered Women (CTT-BW) was developed specifically for survivors dealing with PTSD from intimate partner violence. It incorporates elements particularly relevant to domestic violence survivors, such as addressing ongoing risk, continued contact with perpetrators, and guilt (American Psychiatric Association, 2019).
Helping Overcome PTSD through Empowerment (HOPE) is an empowerment-based cognitive-behavioral therapy designed specifically for women residing in domestic violence shelters. It targets both PTSD symptoms and the concurrent needs of those still in acute danger (VA National Center for PTSD, 2024).
Seeking Safety is an integrative, evidence-based treatment that helps survivors attain safety from trauma and PTSD while addressing co-occurring issues like substance use. Safety becomes the overarching goal, helping patients find safety in their relationships, their thinking, and their behavior (American Psychiatric Association, 2019).
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is particularly helpful for survivors with complex trauma. DBT teaches skills in emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness—all critical for healing from domestic violence.
Complex Trauma Treatment Models based on Judith Herman's foundational work in "Trauma and Recovery" address the various effects of chronic abuse with flexible, multi-modal approaches. While not designed exclusively for domestic violence survivors, they can be especially useful for those whose experiences of abuse have been prolonged and severe (VAWnet, 2016).
It's worth noting that many of these therapies are now available via telehealth, which can be particularly beneficial for rural survivors or those with limited mobility. Virtual delivery has shown effectiveness comparable to in-person treatment, and some participants actually feel more comfortable disclosing in virtual environments (PMC, 2024).
What Survivors Actually Need (And What We Owe Them)
Beyond therapy, survivors need comprehensive support that addresses every aspect of their lives. They need safe, affordable housing that doesn't force them to choose between homelessness and returning to an abuser. They need economic support and job training that provides real pathways to financial independence.
They need legal advocacy that centers their safety and doesn't re-traumatize them through adversarial processes. They need trauma-informed medical care that recognizes the physical health impacts of abuse. They need childcare and parenting support that helps them heal while caring for children who may also be traumatized.
They need peer support groups where they can connect with others who truly understand. They need time and space to heal without pressure to "move on" or "get over it" on anyone else's timeline.
Most of all, survivors need to be believed. They need their experiences validated. They need protection that is swift, comprehensive, and sustained. They need a society that says clearly and unequivocally: This should never have happened to you. It was not your fault. You deserve safety, dignity, and healing.
Moving Forward: What We Can Do Right Now
The Epstein files remind us that silence protects predators, not victims. They show us that systems fail when they prioritize institutional reputation over individual safety. They demonstrate that justice delayed is justice denied—and that for too many survivors, justice never comes at all.
We can do better. We must do better.
This starts with each of us committing to believe survivors, validate their experiences, and support their safety. It continues with advocating for policy changes that adequately fund domestic violence services, reform family court systems, and hold perpetrators accountable.
It means educating ourselves about trauma, coercive control, and the many faces of abuse. It means challenging victim-blaming whenever we encounter it and refusing to minimize or excuse violence.
For those of us who work with survivors, it means bringing our full humanity to this work—our professional expertise, yes, but also our compassion, our patience, and our willingness to bear witness to pain we cannot fix but can help carry.
A Message for Survivors
If you're reading this as a survivor, I want you to hear something clearly: Your story matters. Your safety matters. Your healing matters.
You are not alone, and you are not to blame. Whether you stay, leave, or something in between, you deserve support and compassion, not judgment. There is a path forward, even when you cannot yet see it. Even when everything feels impossible, even when you're exhausted, even when you don't know how you'll take the next step—there is a way through.
The strength it took to survive what you've survived is the same strength that will carry you forward. You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to keep breathing, keep going, one moment at a time.
If you or someone you know needs support:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673
The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey offers additional resources at https://www.cdc.gov/
A Final Thought
The Epstein files have shown us, yet again, what happens when we fail to validate and protect survivors. Let them also serve as a catalyst for change—a reminder that we owe survivors not just our sympathy, but our action, our resources, and our unwavering commitment to their safety and healing.
Because validation without protection fails survivors. And protection without systemic change fails society.
It's time we succeeded at both.
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If there is an emergency, call 911.
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Call National Suicidal Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone 24/7 if needed.
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References
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American Psychiatric Association. (2019). Guide to intimate partner violence among women. Division of Diversity and Health Equity.
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Williams, K., Harb, M., Satyen, L., & Davies, M. (2024). s-CAPE trauma recovery program: The need for a holistic, trauma- and violence-informed domestic violence framework. Frontiers in Global Women's Health, 5. https://doi.org/10.3389/fgwh.2024.1404599
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