When the Divorce Doesn't End

One of the most common misconceptions about abusive relationships is that once you leave, the abuse stops.

For many survivors, that is when a new chapter begins.

This week on Your Traitor Within, I sat down with Lisa Johnson, co-founder of Been There Got Out, high-conflict divorce strategist, certified domestic violence advocate, author, and legal abuse educator.

Lisa’s story is remarkable. She successfully represented herself through scores of court appearances, had her case published in the Connecticut Law Journal, where it is now being used as legal precedent, and her live testimony helped pass Jennifers’ Law in Connecticut. That law made Connecticut the third state in America to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include coercive control.

During our conversation, we discussed legal abuse, coercive control, custody battles, and the ways some former partners continue seeking power and control through the court system long after the relationship has ended.

One of the most powerful themes in the episode was the reality that many survivors feel even more trapped after separation than they did during the relationship itself.

Why?

Because the daily access may be gone, but the opportunities for manipulation often shift into new forms: court filings, financial control, endless communication, custody disputes, and attempts to control children.

We also spent significant time discussing parental alienation and parent-child contact problems, the focus of Lisa and Chris’s newest book, When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You, released in March 2026 with a foreword by Bill Eddy.

This topic is heartbreaking.

Parents often carry enormous shame when a child pulls away from them, yet what we discussed is something many people do not realize: children can become caught in loyalty conflicts, manipulation, fear, and family systems that are far more complicated than they appear from the outside.

Lisa and her partner, Chris, now coach people in high-conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and co-parenting chaos so they have the chance of the best outcome in family court and beyond. They also offer a weekly Legal Abuse Support Group for those dealing with narcissistic opponents in legal matters.

One of the most important takeaways from our conversation is that a parent’s job is not to win a child over through pressure or force.

A parent’s job is to remain safe, regulated, consistent, and available.

To continue being the person their child can eventually return to.

Lisa shares practical advice, hard-earned wisdom, and an incredible amount of hope for people who feel isolated in these experiences.

As she reminds us, millions of people are navigating similar situations.

You are not alone.

And increasingly, these conversations are coming out of the shadows.

You can learn more about Lisa and Been There Got Out here:

Website:
https://beentheregotout.com/

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/been_there_got_out/

First Book:
Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances
https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Relationships-Circumstances/dp/194627495X/

Second Book:
When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You
https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183/

Free Strategic Communication Webinar:
https://programs.beentheregotout.com/SC-Register

Listen to the full episode of Your Traitor Within:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404

Thank you, as always, for being part of this community.

— Jessica Anne Pressler, LCSW